A brand new game storefront launched today, called Steamy Games, and it’s bringing you all your favourite hot titles including Cult of the Limb, Spicy Prison, and Manner Lords…wait, what?
The Steamy Games store boasts “over 69 positive reviews on KinkCritic,” and promises gamers can “shop with discretion” through the “tantalising catalogue.” Apparently, a mystery game will be revealed every three days, and interested parties are encouraged to keep an eye on the store in the cumming weeks (sorry) and sign up for the newsletter.
If you’re wondering what this is all about, so are we. The games currently posted up on Steamy Games come complete with spicy cover art renditions of titles like Cult of the Lamb and Manor Lords, with ‘The Watcher 3: The Night Hunt’ on the way tomorrow. I never thought I’d see the titular Lamb from Massive Monster’s hit title with their yiddies out, or medieval art style depictions of peasants getting down freaky style, but here we are.
The Steamy Games website currently links to Steam at multiple locations, taking users to the listing for upcoming title Space Prison, so we’re hazarding a guess that we’ll be seeing more about the space-faring turn-based tactical survival game by Wooden Alien (ex-Witcher 3 developers) when the countdown ticks over and every horny version of popular titles has been revealed. We’ll clearly be waiting a few weeks to find out, which aligns nicely with Space Prison‘s launch on July 19, funnily enough.
Given it seems like there’s a legit reveal that’s probably not going to be a massive dong or hardcore porn at the end, it might be worth signing up to the newsletter to keep in the know, Space Prison news or not. Users who sign up could also win a ‘mystery game,’ which based on the description certainly sounds a lot like Space Prison. Check out the description for the mystery title below:
“Survival hinges on strategy and cunning in this high-security facility. Navigate a labyrinth of steel, forge tantalising alliances, and outsmart relentless AI wardens. Your decisions dictate life or death as you gather resources, stage daring escapes, and unravel dark, seductive mysteries. Prepare for the ultimate test of survival in the unforgiving expanse of space, where danger and desire intertwine.”
In the meantime, it looks like every three days we’ll be treated to a new game title and art on Steamy Games that’s reminiscent of those iconic porn parodies that do the rounds on the internet (anyone remember Bob’s Boners?). At the very least, you’ll get a chuckle out of each new game that ‘drops’ on the Steamy Games storefront.
Personally, I’ll be living with the image of the horny Lamb indelibly burnt in my brain. Not sure what to make of that.
Image: Steamy Games / Wooden Alien
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