One of the best things The Pokémon Company ever did was make life-sized plushies of some of its monsters. I feel this way not because I think the plushies themselves are that practical—they’re not—but because the photoshoots the company uses to show them off are always incredible meme fodder. Who can forget the life-sized Lucario whose photos painted it as an incredible listener that also helped its owner do household chores? Porygon, the Normal-type Pokémon from the first-generation games and one of the first artificial critters in the line-up made by humans, is the latest ‘mon to be included in this line. Like Lucario before it, Porygon has also gotten a photo shoot that makes it look like the roughly $US400 plush could be a substitute for actual human companionship.
The plush is currently available through the Japanese Pokémon Center store, as reported by outlets like PokéShopper. There, the My Size Porygon is running for 55,000 yen, which is roughly $US391.20 USD. However, it’s also showing up on some third-party sellers which are listing it at a slightly inflated price. The accompanying photos on the official site show the blocky bird-like Pokémon sitting with its owner on the floor as well as listening intently as its human tells it all their problems.
Notably, Porygon’s size has been inconsistent throughout the Pokémon series. The creature is composed of code that’s made its way into the real world, so it’s not bound to the usual rules of nature. It was seen transforming into different shapes and sizes in the anime before it was essentially banned from the show after an episode starring it caused epileptic seizures in hundreds of Japanese viewers in 1997. But in that episode, it was still notably smaller in its base form than the plush The Pokémon Center is selling. So let’s just imagine this guy is maintaining this size so he can always meet you at eye level if you’re sitting down together.
Click through to see more of your potential new friend. You know, if you want to pay only slightly less than a PlayStation 5 for it.
Uppies
Let it sit on the couch
Well at least they gave it a rug to sit on
“Look at my artificial son.”
That profile, though
Oh. Don’t look at it from the front.
Or below
New profile pic
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